everything matters
economics and finance wrap-up :
Monday, lehman brothers, a 158 year old major wall street player, collapses. Merrill lynch was sold to b of a.
Tuesday, the federal reserve provides 85 billion to keep insurance giant AIG (American international group) out of bankruptcy.
Wednesday, Washington mutual puts itself up for sale, and morgan Stanley and Wachovia start merger talks.
And today, Thursday, in light of all that is happening to the American and global economy, john mccain scaled down his previous line that said anyone who makes under 5 million a year is middle class. Now it’s anyone who makes under 5 hundred.
Galileo may have to come back from the dead to disprove this but Wall street firms seem to be falling faster than the stockbrokers jumping out of buildings.
In a press conference yesterday John McCain, unable to answer any question coherently, seemed to reject US ally Spain as a US ally and would not commit as to whether or not he’d invite the Spanish President to the White House. He then smiled his garish, forced smile and said that “none of this Spanish stuff changes the fact that beisbol has been beri beri good to me”.
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International news – in South Korea the law allows only the visually impaired to become professional masseurs. And baseball umpires. While those with mental impairments are forced to enter politics.
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In baseball, Ichiro Suzuki has over 200 hits for the 8th straight year, beating a 100+ year old record set by Wee Willie Keeler. Wee Willie, the former owner of the record and the lifetime owner of world’s most unfortunate anatomical nickname, was of course played by child star Shirley Temple for most of his career. Who can forget Wee Willie at the Big Top, Wee Willie’s Christmas, and Wee Willie meets Senator Larry Craig in a Minneapolis Men’s Room?
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Motown songwriting and producing legend Norman Whitfield passed away at 68. Foul play was not suspected although 4 men in matching powder blue tuxedos were observed leaving the scene.
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Showing posts with label Wall Street. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wall Street. Show all posts
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Everything Matters - 9/17/08
Carly Fiorina, the executive who ran Hewlett-Packard into the ground AND a McCain economic advisor, said yesterday that neither McCain nor Sarah Palin could run a Fortune 500 company. Based on the disappearing stock market with companies disappearing or being bailed out by the Bush administration, pretty soon the question will be, "Could they run a Fortune 200 company? Fortune 50?, Fortune 17?"
Let's see: McCain's 3 top economic advisors are Phil Gramm, the man most responsible for deregulation and thus the financial crisis we are in now; Carly Fiorina, the CEO who almost destroyed Hewlett-Packard; and John Thuin, the CEO of Merrill Lynch who was in charge when after 80+ yeaars Merrill went belly-up and had to sell itself. Consider the odds of having 7 dwarves and three of them are Dopey!!!
Phil Gramm is also the guy who when watching the middle class disappear and Wall Street implode referred to Americans worried about the economy as "a nation of whiners". Today the nation of whiners will be demonstrating outside of Phil Gramm's house and they now wish to be known as "A nation of whiners now armed with baseball bats."
John McCain has repeatedly said that "the fundamentals of the economy are strong". He said it the day Wall Street sufferedd its biggest one day loss since 9/11. In typical McCain fashion he has now retracted that statement and clarified it, saying he only meant "to put the fun back in fun-damentals."
Wall Street insurance giant AIG was bailed out by the federal government and now we, the US taxpayers, own about 80% of AIG. Wall Street is New Orleans without Katrina. Wall Street is Galveston, Texas without Ike. Basically the government bail-out program is like the movie Gremlins - as long as you or your city don't get wet, the Bush Administration will take care of you. Remember, don't get wet!!! Bad things happen when you get wet. Like the government forgets about you!!! (And of course, New Orleans also ate after midnight.)
Artist Damien Hirst had an art sale at the same time as the US and now global financial crisis and sold pieces of his work for over 200 million dollars. 200 million dollars!!! Most famous for putting an entire shark in formaldehyde, Hirst, no financial idiot, said in order to keep his profits from the sale safe he was not going to put them in a bank or any sort of financial instrument. He is simply going to put them inside a shark. Inside an even bigger shark.
In health news, the Amgen Corporation announced good results from a bone drug that strengthens bone density and keeps the spine stronger longer. Sadly the drug was not available for the Democratic Congress of 2006.
It's no secret that John McSame has co-opted Obama's mantra of change and now calls himself the candidate of change. When it comes to his 100 million dollar fortune, his 12 homes and his history as one of Washington's greatest de-regulators, the change McCain believes in for the rest of us is simply the change we have in our pockets!
McCain's losing it. Today he said that "with change you can use pay phones." He then added, "With change you can also use vending machines." And my favorite, "With great change comes great responsibility." When he was told that now he was simply paraphrasing Spiderman, McCain put on his serious face and said "For 5 and a half years I couldn't read Spiderman."
Interesting that the more Americans are being held hostage by the economy, the less John McCain mentions that he was a P.O.W.
It's the opposite for forgotten fascist Rudy Giuliani. Yesterday he blamed the Wall Street free-fall on 9/11. He also blamed 9/11 for Pearl Harbor, the sinking of the Maine, and the break-up of Chris Kattan's marriage.
And to quote Rudy, or Il Rudy as he prefers, "If Chris Kattan, who we know and love as Mango on Saturday Night Live, and his wife of six weeks don't get back together, the terrorists win!"
John McCain, trying to win the votes of at least ten black Americans, is now appearing in ads in the "community" as M C Cain, also know as Big Daddy M C Cain. The real Big Daddy Kane meanwhile was planning to start up a renewal of the famous East Coast-Arizona hip-hop feud.
Let's see: McCain's 3 top economic advisors are Phil Gramm, the man most responsible for deregulation and thus the financial crisis we are in now; Carly Fiorina, the CEO who almost destroyed Hewlett-Packard; and John Thuin, the CEO of Merrill Lynch who was in charge when after 80+ yeaars Merrill went belly-up and had to sell itself. Consider the odds of having 7 dwarves and three of them are Dopey!!!
Phil Gramm is also the guy who when watching the middle class disappear and Wall Street implode referred to Americans worried about the economy as "a nation of whiners". Today the nation of whiners will be demonstrating outside of Phil Gramm's house and they now wish to be known as "A nation of whiners now armed with baseball bats."
John McCain has repeatedly said that "the fundamentals of the economy are strong". He said it the day Wall Street sufferedd its biggest one day loss since 9/11. In typical McCain fashion he has now retracted that statement and clarified it, saying he only meant "to put the fun back in fun-damentals."
Wall Street insurance giant AIG was bailed out by the federal government and now we, the US taxpayers, own about 80% of AIG. Wall Street is New Orleans without Katrina. Wall Street is Galveston, Texas without Ike. Basically the government bail-out program is like the movie Gremlins - as long as you or your city don't get wet, the Bush Administration will take care of you. Remember, don't get wet!!! Bad things happen when you get wet. Like the government forgets about you!!! (And of course, New Orleans also ate after midnight.)
Artist Damien Hirst had an art sale at the same time as the US and now global financial crisis and sold pieces of his work for over 200 million dollars. 200 million dollars!!! Most famous for putting an entire shark in formaldehyde, Hirst, no financial idiot, said in order to keep his profits from the sale safe he was not going to put them in a bank or any sort of financial instrument. He is simply going to put them inside a shark. Inside an even bigger shark.
In health news, the Amgen Corporation announced good results from a bone drug that strengthens bone density and keeps the spine stronger longer. Sadly the drug was not available for the Democratic Congress of 2006.
It's no secret that John McSame has co-opted Obama's mantra of change and now calls himself the candidate of change. When it comes to his 100 million dollar fortune, his 12 homes and his history as one of Washington's greatest de-regulators, the change McCain believes in for the rest of us is simply the change we have in our pockets!
McCain's losing it. Today he said that "with change you can use pay phones." He then added, "With change you can also use vending machines." And my favorite, "With great change comes great responsibility." When he was told that now he was simply paraphrasing Spiderman, McCain put on his serious face and said "For 5 and a half years I couldn't read Spiderman."
Interesting that the more Americans are being held hostage by the economy, the less John McCain mentions that he was a P.O.W.
It's the opposite for forgotten fascist Rudy Giuliani. Yesterday he blamed the Wall Street free-fall on 9/11. He also blamed 9/11 for Pearl Harbor, the sinking of the Maine, and the break-up of Chris Kattan's marriage.
And to quote Rudy, or Il Rudy as he prefers, "If Chris Kattan, who we know and love as Mango on Saturday Night Live, and his wife of six weeks don't get back together, the terrorists win!"
John McCain, trying to win the votes of at least ten black Americans, is now appearing in ads in the "community" as M C Cain, also know as Big Daddy M C Cain. The real Big Daddy Kane meanwhile was planning to start up a renewal of the famous East Coast-Arizona hip-hop feud.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Everything Matters - 9/15/08
Everything Matters 9/15/08
It is fitting that John McSame is in favor of drilling for fossil fuels. He knew most of those fossils when they were alive.
At a faith-based conference for evangelical Republicans last week, a top seller at the vendor booths was a package of Obama Waffles, a waffle mix that on the box had a picture of Obama with exaggeratedly large lips and darker skin and the boxtop portrayed him as a Muslim. When confronted with their obvious racism the makers of Obama Waffles fell back on the “it’s only a joke” defense basing this on the theory that tragedy + time + racism = comedy.
Other examples they cited to bolster the tragedy + time + racism = comedy equation were the genocidal extermination of Native Americans, lynchings, and the inexplicable success of Larry the Cable Guy.
When that explanation didn’t work they said that they had tested the package on their focus group and it had passed with flying colors. The focus group consisted of the creators of Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, the Cream of Wheat Chef and the ghost of George Wallace.
The latest O.J. Simpson trial has started in Ls Vegas where he’s accused of armed robbery, kidnapping and a host of other serious charges. Mr, Simpson’s defense is that he was simply retrieving items that belonged to him. Much like in his celebrated double murder trial when his defense claimed that he was simply retrieving his knives from the bodies of the victims. Over and over again.
The New York Times headline reads Financial Crisis Reshapes Wall Street’s Landscape. Yeah, like Vesuvius reshaped Pompei or Katrina reshaped New Orleans.
Even with Wall Street in meltdown mode and Lehman Brothers disappearing and Merrill Lynch selling itself to the Bank of America, John McCain said this morning that “the fundamentals of the economy are strong”. Maybe at his house. Or houses.
When asked to define one such fundamental, Mr. McCain demonstrated by folding some dollar bills and claiming that they had just doubled in value.
To show even further how out of touch with reality he truly is, McCain then said we shouldn’t just be drilling offshore; we should be drilling on the banks of all of our major rivers like the Mississippi, the Missouri and the Colorado. “C’mon, they’re banks”, he said. “They may not have oil but might have money.”
My favorite McCain campaign lie for today – Obama raised 66 million in August, a number which proves that he is two-thirds of the way towards becoming the anti-Christ.
When presented with the insanity of this claim, a McCain spokesman said that it is incumbent upon the Obama campaign to provide proof that he is not the spawn of Satan and to explain why Mr. Obama has The Omen trilogy in his Netflix queue.
The past few weeks the papers have been filled with Gustav and Ike, Ike and Gustav. How many people thought they were having a nightmare where we were back in World War II and Germany was invading the Gulf of Mexico? Nobody. Really? Then explain why John McCain cut short an appearance this morning to get on his campaign plane, telling the press that he had an urgent message he had to deliver personally to Adolf.
Karl Rove, on no one’s list of the 5 people you meet in heaven, said that John McCain’s lies about his opponent, Barack Obama, during the presidential campaign have gone too far. Karl Rove said that. In a related story, Satan, the Prince of Darkness, was seen at a local sporting goods store buying ice skates.
If you think that spreading democracy is easy be reminded that over the weekend a top European diplomat said that Afghanistan was in its worst shape since 2001.
That’s B.C.
In India, which most Americans know as the place that answers the calls you make to Microsoft, another futuristic technology story. They used brain scans that purportedly show activity in the memory centers to convict a woman of murder, claiming the scan showed she had “experiential knowledge” of the crime. The jury said that that brain scan wasn’t the only reason they voted to convict. They said they were also swayed by the other brain scans that showed the defendant also had “experiential knowledge” of seasons 4 and 5 of Two and a Half Men, the music of Air Supply, and “something sexual involving Donald Rumsfeld.”
Pope Benedict was in Lourdes this weekend in France, the city where a 14 year old peasant girl was said to have visions of the Virgin Mary back in 1858. In front of a crowd of 50,000 worshippers the Pope said ‘the power of love is stronger than the evil that threatens us.” The Pope then got into his bullet and bomb-proof Pope-mobile and sped through the threatening crowd of 50,000 loving worshippers.
Since he was in France, the Pope claimed to have seen the image of Jesus in the crust of a baguette, the burnt cheese on the top of a bowl of French onion soup, and the end credits of The Disorderly Orderly, his Eminence’s favorite Jerry Lewis movie.
It seems that over 200 zoos and aquariums around the world have joined a computerized matchmaking service for their animals and fish. With lions being the kings of the jungle and male lions able to copulate 20 to 40 times a day during mating season, the service is being called MatchMatchMatchMatchMatchMatch dot com.
It has been revealed that when Sarah Palin was mayor of Wassila she tried to ban the book Daddy’s Roommate, a story about a homosexual couple, from the local library. When that didn’t work she tried to interest the publisher in some other titles –
Daddy’s Roommate Joins a Mega-church and Gives Up the Gay, Daddy’s Roommate and the Eternal Fires of Damnation, and Daddy’s Roommate and 9/11: the untold connection.
According to a book coming out tomorrow (9/16/08) Vice President Cheney wanted nothing to do with the federal response to Hurricane Katrina. A few other things that Cheney wanted nothing to do with – love, compassion, empathy, sympathy and basic human decency.
It is fitting that John McSame is in favor of drilling for fossil fuels. He knew most of those fossils when they were alive.
At a faith-based conference for evangelical Republicans last week, a top seller at the vendor booths was a package of Obama Waffles, a waffle mix that on the box had a picture of Obama with exaggeratedly large lips and darker skin and the boxtop portrayed him as a Muslim. When confronted with their obvious racism the makers of Obama Waffles fell back on the “it’s only a joke” defense basing this on the theory that tragedy + time + racism = comedy.
Other examples they cited to bolster the tragedy + time + racism = comedy equation were the genocidal extermination of Native Americans, lynchings, and the inexplicable success of Larry the Cable Guy.
When that explanation didn’t work they said that they had tested the package on their focus group and it had passed with flying colors. The focus group consisted of the creators of Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, the Cream of Wheat Chef and the ghost of George Wallace.
The latest O.J. Simpson trial has started in Ls Vegas where he’s accused of armed robbery, kidnapping and a host of other serious charges. Mr, Simpson’s defense is that he was simply retrieving items that belonged to him. Much like in his celebrated double murder trial when his defense claimed that he was simply retrieving his knives from the bodies of the victims. Over and over again.
The New York Times headline reads Financial Crisis Reshapes Wall Street’s Landscape. Yeah, like Vesuvius reshaped Pompei or Katrina reshaped New Orleans.
Even with Wall Street in meltdown mode and Lehman Brothers disappearing and Merrill Lynch selling itself to the Bank of America, John McCain said this morning that “the fundamentals of the economy are strong”. Maybe at his house. Or houses.
When asked to define one such fundamental, Mr. McCain demonstrated by folding some dollar bills and claiming that they had just doubled in value.
To show even further how out of touch with reality he truly is, McCain then said we shouldn’t just be drilling offshore; we should be drilling on the banks of all of our major rivers like the Mississippi, the Missouri and the Colorado. “C’mon, they’re banks”, he said. “They may not have oil but might have money.”
My favorite McCain campaign lie for today – Obama raised 66 million in August, a number which proves that he is two-thirds of the way towards becoming the anti-Christ.
When presented with the insanity of this claim, a McCain spokesman said that it is incumbent upon the Obama campaign to provide proof that he is not the spawn of Satan and to explain why Mr. Obama has The Omen trilogy in his Netflix queue.
The past few weeks the papers have been filled with Gustav and Ike, Ike and Gustav. How many people thought they were having a nightmare where we were back in World War II and Germany was invading the Gulf of Mexico? Nobody. Really? Then explain why John McCain cut short an appearance this morning to get on his campaign plane, telling the press that he had an urgent message he had to deliver personally to Adolf.
Karl Rove, on no one’s list of the 5 people you meet in heaven, said that John McCain’s lies about his opponent, Barack Obama, during the presidential campaign have gone too far. Karl Rove said that. In a related story, Satan, the Prince of Darkness, was seen at a local sporting goods store buying ice skates.
If you think that spreading democracy is easy be reminded that over the weekend a top European diplomat said that Afghanistan was in its worst shape since 2001.
That’s B.C.
In India, which most Americans know as the place that answers the calls you make to Microsoft, another futuristic technology story. They used brain scans that purportedly show activity in the memory centers to convict a woman of murder, claiming the scan showed she had “experiential knowledge” of the crime. The jury said that that brain scan wasn’t the only reason they voted to convict. They said they were also swayed by the other brain scans that showed the defendant also had “experiential knowledge” of seasons 4 and 5 of Two and a Half Men, the music of Air Supply, and “something sexual involving Donald Rumsfeld.”
Pope Benedict was in Lourdes this weekend in France, the city where a 14 year old peasant girl was said to have visions of the Virgin Mary back in 1858. In front of a crowd of 50,000 worshippers the Pope said ‘the power of love is stronger than the evil that threatens us.” The Pope then got into his bullet and bomb-proof Pope-mobile and sped through the threatening crowd of 50,000 loving worshippers.
Since he was in France, the Pope claimed to have seen the image of Jesus in the crust of a baguette, the burnt cheese on the top of a bowl of French onion soup, and the end credits of The Disorderly Orderly, his Eminence’s favorite Jerry Lewis movie.
It seems that over 200 zoos and aquariums around the world have joined a computerized matchmaking service for their animals and fish. With lions being the kings of the jungle and male lions able to copulate 20 to 40 times a day during mating season, the service is being called MatchMatchMatchMatchMatchMatch dot com.
It has been revealed that when Sarah Palin was mayor of Wassila she tried to ban the book Daddy’s Roommate, a story about a homosexual couple, from the local library. When that didn’t work she tried to interest the publisher in some other titles –
Daddy’s Roommate Joins a Mega-church and Gives Up the Gay, Daddy’s Roommate and the Eternal Fires of Damnation, and Daddy’s Roommate and 9/11: the untold connection.
According to a book coming out tomorrow (9/16/08) Vice President Cheney wanted nothing to do with the federal response to Hurricane Katrina. A few other things that Cheney wanted nothing to do with – love, compassion, empathy, sympathy and basic human decency.
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