Vanity Fair has filed a Freedom of Information Act request to get the records of a 1964 car crash in which a young (let’s say “younger” since McCain was never young) John McCain may have been involved in a deadly car crash which has been covered up for years. So now McCain’s not just like George Bush, he’s like Laura Bush as well since the First Lady ran a stop sign as a young woman in Texas and killed someone.
McCain votes like Bush 90% of the time and he drives like Laura the other 10%.
Republican Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska was convicted yesterday of corruption for not reporting 250 grand worth of goods and services for his home. To make matters worse, under Obama’s tax plan, anything under 250 grand wouldn’t be taxable anyway!!!
Sarah Palin told Sean Hannity that she likes being in the underdog position.
Which accounts for most of her support from male voters who salivate just
thinking of Palin in the underdog position.
I love the Republicans. Now they’re saying that one party rule didn’t work
out so well for them so don’t let the Democrats do it either. The new Republican
slogan – We’re all gonna lose so vote for me.
Convicted felon Senator Ted Stevens – doesn’t he look like something that
should be looking back at you from inside an aquarium.
Convicted Senator Ted Stevens said he’s too old to go to jail.
Sarah Palin agreed and volunteered to shoot him from a helicopter.
Showing posts with label Alaska. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alaska. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Everything Matters - 10/9/08 - Lunchtime Edition
The first country to fall in the wake of the global financial meltdown is Iceland. The Icelandic government announced today that they were going bankrupt. They said their problems began a thousand years ago when their real estate investment
in Vinland didn’t pay off.
McCain said today that he was forced to go negative because Obama wouldn’t agree
to 10 town hall meetings. He was forced! This has now become the Bush rationale
for waterboarding and other forms of torture. The terrorist captives wouldn’t agree
to ten town hall meetings. We were forced to torture them!
Cindy McCain attacked Obama by saying his vote on a troop funding measure sent a cold chill through her body. Considering the Ice Princess has a standard body temperature of about 10 below zero, how could she tell?
Cindy McCain went to Alaska to campaign for Sarah Palin and won the
State Fair award for Best Ice Sculpture.
The Republican Party keeps saying that McCain’s use of the term “that one” at the debate has no racial subtext. Interesting. In other news, Mississippi and Alabama have revealed the design of their Presidential ballots. It’s lists McCain as the Republican nominee and That One as the Democratic.
in Vinland didn’t pay off.
McCain said today that he was forced to go negative because Obama wouldn’t agree
to 10 town hall meetings. He was forced! This has now become the Bush rationale
for waterboarding and other forms of torture. The terrorist captives wouldn’t agree
to ten town hall meetings. We were forced to torture them!
Cindy McCain attacked Obama by saying his vote on a troop funding measure sent a cold chill through her body. Considering the Ice Princess has a standard body temperature of about 10 below zero, how could she tell?
Cindy McCain went to Alaska to campaign for Sarah Palin and won the
State Fair award for Best Ice Sculpture.
The Republican Party keeps saying that McCain’s use of the term “that one” at the debate has no racial subtext. Interesting. In other news, Mississippi and Alabama have revealed the design of their Presidential ballots. It’s lists McCain as the Republican nominee and That One as the Democratic.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Palin's Alaska as a Microcosm of Everything
And Alaska isn’t just a microcosm of America. It turns out that Alaska is a microcosm of any place on the planet.
According to Palin and the McCain campaign, Alaska’s proximity (that’s “closeness” for all the other Joe 6-Packs out there like Sarah) to Russia makes her a foreign policy expert. Palin has stated that Russia is separated from Alaska by just a narrow maritime strip. Greece and Turkey are also separated by a narrow maritime strip.
Therefore, Alaska is just like Greece and Turkey.
Alaska has Native Americans, commonly called Indians. India also has Indians. Therefore Alaska is just like India.
And let’s not forget the West Indies; places like Jamaica. It follows that Alaska is just like Jamaica and the West Indies.
Using Sarah Palin logic, can you see how her foreign policy expertise and experience simply grows at an exponential rate?
The question must be why was she not put to better use as Secretary of State where her formidable foreign policy
genius could have been put to better use?
But back to her microcosm.
Alaska has mountains. Lots of countries have mountains, such as Nepal, Tibet, Peru, Chile, and Romania.
This makes Alaska a microcosm of all those countries and just like them. As Sarah Palin famously put on a bumper sticker as Governor of Alaska, Alaska is just like Romania, only without the vampires. Our tourism rates shot up after people saw they wouldn’t be bitten by the undead if they came here.
Alaska has ice. Lots of countries have ice, like that cute Iceland, and Norway, and even places like Brazil which have electricity and can make ice in those little hotel room refrigerators. So Alaska is just like a microcosm of Iceland and Norway
and Brazil and places with electricity and hotels just about anywhere.
Alaska also has seals and polar bears and so many places with zoos and aquariums have seals and polar bears so Alaska is just like them. I mean, the Berlin Zoo has that cute little polar bear Knut so in a very real way Alaska is just like Berlin
which is in Germany. But not the bad Berlin or Germany with those bad people, the Nazis. Alaska isn’t like Germany with Nazis. We’re more like the Germany with regular white people who aren’t Nazis. And our seals and polar bears aren’t Nazis either. And while I was Governor I had a tanning bed put in the Governor’s mansion so I could add a little color to the usual Arctic white skin tone we tend to get up in the far North. And by tanning myself I felt a kinship with all the tannish people of the world so in that way Alaska, or me representing Alaska, was myself a microcosm of all the tannish, darker, non-White people in the world. So Alaska is then a microcosm of Africa and Asia and Latin America and South America and most of New York City. That tanning bed provided me with so much foreign policy knowledge and experience.
So as you can plainly see, Alaska is just like any other place on Earth.
With a really high rate of sex crimes.
According to Palin and the McCain campaign, Alaska’s proximity (that’s “closeness” for all the other Joe 6-Packs out there like Sarah) to Russia makes her a foreign policy expert. Palin has stated that Russia is separated from Alaska by just a narrow maritime strip. Greece and Turkey are also separated by a narrow maritime strip.
Therefore, Alaska is just like Greece and Turkey.
Alaska has Native Americans, commonly called Indians. India also has Indians. Therefore Alaska is just like India.
And let’s not forget the West Indies; places like Jamaica. It follows that Alaska is just like Jamaica and the West Indies.
Using Sarah Palin logic, can you see how her foreign policy expertise and experience simply grows at an exponential rate?
The question must be why was she not put to better use as Secretary of State where her formidable foreign policy
genius could have been put to better use?
But back to her microcosm.
Alaska has mountains. Lots of countries have mountains, such as Nepal, Tibet, Peru, Chile, and Romania.
This makes Alaska a microcosm of all those countries and just like them. As Sarah Palin famously put on a bumper sticker as Governor of Alaska, Alaska is just like Romania, only without the vampires. Our tourism rates shot up after people saw they wouldn’t be bitten by the undead if they came here.
Alaska has ice. Lots of countries have ice, like that cute Iceland, and Norway, and even places like Brazil which have electricity and can make ice in those little hotel room refrigerators. So Alaska is just like a microcosm of Iceland and Norway
and Brazil and places with electricity and hotels just about anywhere.
Alaska also has seals and polar bears and so many places with zoos and aquariums have seals and polar bears so Alaska is just like them. I mean, the Berlin Zoo has that cute little polar bear Knut so in a very real way Alaska is just like Berlin
which is in Germany. But not the bad Berlin or Germany with those bad people, the Nazis. Alaska isn’t like Germany with Nazis. We’re more like the Germany with regular white people who aren’t Nazis. And our seals and polar bears aren’t Nazis either. And while I was Governor I had a tanning bed put in the Governor’s mansion so I could add a little color to the usual Arctic white skin tone we tend to get up in the far North. And by tanning myself I felt a kinship with all the tannish people of the world so in that way Alaska, or me representing Alaska, was myself a microcosm of all the tannish, darker, non-White people in the world. So Alaska is then a microcosm of Africa and Asia and Latin America and South America and most of New York City. That tanning bed provided me with so much foreign policy knowledge and experience.
So as you can plainly see, Alaska is just like any other place on Earth.
With a really high rate of sex crimes.
Everything Matters - 10/1/08 - Morning Edition
Sarah Palin said yesterday that Alaska is like a microcosm of America.
Let’s look at the population figures from 2006. 70.7% of Alaskans are white.
15.4% of Alaskans are Alaska Natives or American Indians. So rounding off,
71% of Alaskans are white and 15% are Native Americans.
White people and Indians. Yeah, Alaska is a microcosm of America.
America in 1847.
Let’s look at the population figures from 2006. 70.7% of Alaskans are white.
15.4% of Alaskans are Alaska Natives or American Indians. So rounding off,
71% of Alaskans are white and 15% are Native Americans.
White people and Indians. Yeah, Alaska is a microcosm of America.
America in 1847.
Just Discovered - the text of a "Real Sarah Palin" ad
"Hello, I'm Sarah Palin and I'd like to just talk to you, the American people as me, Sarah Palin. So you get to know the real me, so you can see the real me, preacher. So you can see the real me, doctor. And so you can see the real me, mother. Those lines are from a rock and roll song that Todd and I don't really listen to cause rock and roll is bad and causes homosexuality but we sometimes play it real loud when we don't want the kids to hear us fooling around in our evangelical Jesus loving way. Sound really carries in Alaska and that's another reason I am a foreign policy expert cause that means not only can I see Russia from here but I can hear Russia also. ‘Course my preacher says that could be the radio transmissions coming in through the fillings in my teeth which the liberals pushed through Congress back in the sex and drug sixties so they could brainwash us while we sleep. Which is why I sleep with my mouth open so the transmissions just go out into the room and not into my head and anyway, Todd, my first dude, well he just loves that my mouth is open like that all night. Anyway, I hope you're getting an idea of what me, I, myself, the real Sarah Palin is or are like. I'm just like you, and you, and you. You know I can't really see you but what I'm doing there is using what we mothers call "the imagination dealie". That's where we make things up to make life more fun and just better for our kids, of which I have like 5. We make up things like dinosaurs and evolution and dna and the law of gravity, like no ones' ever broken that, I mean, planes go up, rockets go up, and they only come down when we say come down, or make them come down. I lost a balloon years ago with track or trig or trailer park, one of my kids, and it hasn't come down yet so there goes that "law" of gravity stuff. That balloon went up and never came down so if the elite liberal scientists are going to lie about that they'll lie about everything. I'm Sarah Palin and this is the real me."
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