Goodbye to Bush - 1/23/09

Ariana called him "delusional". Chris Mathews called him a tabula rasa. I call him the beady-eyed son of privilege who championed class-war with tax cuts for the wealthy while New Orleans drowned, while Iraq burned, while Afghanistan festered, while government fulfilled Reagan's prophecy and became the enemy, while religious superstition and scientific falsification ran wild, and yes, while the Twin Towers came down in New York due to his negligence, ignorance and his C-student unwillingness to read Bin Laden poised to strike in US. He was the American political legacy who gave inbred European aristocracy and further removed and further inbred ancient Egyptian nobility a bad name. He was the college cheerleader who was never good enough to play in the game who took his Dad's bat and balls and simply made the game up from his gut - spilling the guts of countless thousands on the way. He was the lifelong failure who showed us all what a big man he was. He was the least introspective man of his time. He was the least curious man of his time. He actually said last night - "You may not agree with some tough decisions I have made. But I hope you can agree that I was willing to make tough decisions." It was your job, asshole. You want praise for doing your job?! You entered the scene without a hint of class or grace. You leave having learned nothing, without a clue as to the lives led by most people on the planet, wallowing in self-pity and still not a hint, a glimmer, of class or grace. Go back to Texas, the hate-crime capitol of the United States. Fitting. Clear more brush, don't clear brush. But go. And go fuck yourself while you're going. And take the smirk off your face, finally, once and for all. You always were the joke. Go take a long look in a mirror at that smirk. It's held in place, frozen in time, a President Sardonicus for the ages. And while you're smirking, go fuck yourself one more time. Think of it as one more tough decision.

Everything Matters - 10/21/08 - Hollywood Edition

Let’s face it, if Hollywood were to remake Frank Capra’s classic It’s A Wonderful Life and base it on the Republican policies that lead to the collapse of the global economy, the Bailey Building and Loan Association would foreclose on everyone in Bedford Falls, George Bailey would commit suicide and take half the town with him, and Clarence Odbody, the Guardian Angel would plummet to Earth in a fireball cause he would never get his wings. They could even use another movie title to show the true horror of the world left behind after 8 years off George Bush – Apocalypse Now.

Everything Matters - 10/16/08 - Afternoon Edition

Super investor Warren Buffet today said “Buy American stocks. I am.”
Warren Buffet has 35 billion dollars. Americans who aren’t Warren Buffet
said “We’d love to but we’re too busy trying to buy American food,
American clothing and American shelter.”

The Supreme Court ruled today and stopped a GOP effort to suppress the
vote in Ohio. Don’t get too happy. In the spirit of fairness the Court also
ruled that the GOP COULD suppress the vote in the other 49 states.

Headlines everywhere are blaring that Sarah Palin’s staff are keeping her away
from the news so she won’t get depressed. Which proves that this latest version
of the Terminator T-1000 DOES have human emotions.

So Sarah Palin’s staff is keeping her away from the news so she won’t get
depressed. Funny, every time I read about her or see her in the news I get
depressed. And she’s been a public figure for all off 6 weeks now. Have you
seen how depressed the stock market has gotten in that time???

John McCain, down in all the polls, is looking into what he calls “a narrow
victory scenario.” Basically it means that after Obama is inaugurated,
McCain would become King of Arizona and Alaska.

I’m sorry but doesn’t Joe the Plumber look like he should be fighting Rick Flair
and Ivan Koloff in a cage match? Loser leaves town.

How many of you are aware that Oliver Stone’s movie about Bush, W., is the prequel
to Spike Lee’s movie X, about Malcolm X? As Malcolm himself would’ve said,
“George Bush destroyed this country… by any means necessary.”