Bristol Palin’s mother-in-law was arrested today for running a meth lab
out of her house in Wasilla, Alaska. Let’s look at a few of the small-town
values on view in Sarah Palin’s immediate and extended family – teenage
pregnancy, unprotected sex, sex before marriage, drug taking, drug making,
drug selling, and a marked inability to name any book, magazine or newspaper
that you have read or read regularly. Yep, that’s our Sarah – too busy
looking over at Russia to see what’s going wrong in her own backyard.
Illinois Governor and noted Elvis fan Rod Blagojevich says he is innocent and
will fight the federal charges against him until his last breath. To support his
case he’s hired a famous defense attorney and released an mp3 of himself
singing “Suspicious Minds.”
Actor Jeremy Piven has walked off Broadway where he was appearing in David
Mamet’s Speed the Plow. Piven claims he has mercury poisoning due to his
habit of eating sushi daily for years. David Mamet responded to Piven’s quitting
by saying “Fuck Jeremy Piven, fuck mercury, fuck mercury the element and
fuck mercury the planet and fuck mercury the messenger of the gods.”
He added, “Fuck poison, fuck Poison the hair band and just for the hell of it
fuck Brett Michaels of Poison too. “
In the Minnesota Senatorial race recount, a vote with Lizard People written
above the name Norm Coleman was counted while one with Brett Favre written
over Al Franken’s name was not. The state board criteria was that Lizard People
was clearly not a real vote but the one for Brett Favre was. So basically the
criteria is if you’re just a lunatic and wrote-in Lizard People your vote counts,
but if you’re a dick and thought you were funny and wrote in Brett Favre your
vote doesn’t count. The joke’s on them as Sarah Palin just announced she’s
running as the Lizard People candidate for President in 2012. Makes sense.
Palin is cold-blooded, hasn’t fully evolved, and had to have an expensive
make-up artist on call during the election because of her dry, scaly skin.
The pirates of Somalia have told the world press that they became pirates to
make money which would help them attract the ladies. On the pirates’ Facebook
page, their interests are listed as “throwing people overboard, murdering innocent
sailors, and breaking global maritime law. Piracy must work because on the same Facebook page the pirates are all listed as “In a Relationship.”
Showing posts with label Somali pirates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Somali pirates. Show all posts
Friday, December 19, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Everything Matters - 9/30/08 - Morning Edition
Everything went down in value today as the stock market went down 777 points.
That Ukrainian freighter hijacked by Somali pirates was said to have 30 million dollars worth of arms and ammunition and the pirates wanted a 20 million dollar ransom.
Today the pirates said they’d settle for a signed photo of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow.
In Israel, disgraced former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said Israel should pull
out of the West Bank. With the global economy failing, pulling out of any bank
makes perfect sense.
To put the 777 point loss in the stock market yesterday –
- Randy Moss, the wide receiver for the Patriots, has scored 762 points. That’s taken him 11 years.
- Tris Speaker, baseball Hall of Famer, hit 792 doubles. That took him 22 years.
- Gordie Howe scored 801 goals in ice hockey. That took him 34 years.
So in sports, on average, it takes about 22 years to hit or approach the number 777.
The stock market did it in one day. I worry what the next 22 years will look like here.
777 point drop in the stock market. Interesting that on the web, 777.com is “the home of serious gamblers.” Yeah, we know.
Bill Clinton may be going to Florida to campaign for Obama this week but his heart clearly isn’t in the whole Obama thing. He’ll only be speaking in Miami to nursing home patients with Alzheimer’s and he can’t be blamed if they forget to vote.
That’s at least a bit better than his original Florida schedule which only had him speaking in the Everglades to the all-important undecided-alligator vote.
Those Somali pirates who hijacked the Ukrainian ship filled with arms for Kenya now find themselves cornered on all sides by the US Navy. You hear that? The 21st century technologically advanced futuristic US Navy against Somali pirates in loincloths with swords. The pirates are obviously huge underdogs. Betting site 777.com says take the pirates and the points.
NASA announced yesterday that the space shuttle mission to fix the Hubble space telescope will be moved to 2009 after the election. Makes sense. The last thing Bush wants is anybody else out there seeing how bad things are here on Earth.
That Ukrainian freighter hijacked by Somali pirates was said to have 30 million dollars worth of arms and ammunition and the pirates wanted a 20 million dollar ransom.
Today the pirates said they’d settle for a signed photo of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow.
In Israel, disgraced former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said Israel should pull
out of the West Bank. With the global economy failing, pulling out of any bank
makes perfect sense.
To put the 777 point loss in the stock market yesterday –
- Randy Moss, the wide receiver for the Patriots, has scored 762 points. That’s taken him 11 years.
- Tris Speaker, baseball Hall of Famer, hit 792 doubles. That took him 22 years.
- Gordie Howe scored 801 goals in ice hockey. That took him 34 years.
So in sports, on average, it takes about 22 years to hit or approach the number 777.
The stock market did it in one day. I worry what the next 22 years will look like here.
777 point drop in the stock market. Interesting that on the web, 777.com is “the home of serious gamblers.” Yeah, we know.
Bill Clinton may be going to Florida to campaign for Obama this week but his heart clearly isn’t in the whole Obama thing. He’ll only be speaking in Miami to nursing home patients with Alzheimer’s and he can’t be blamed if they forget to vote.
That’s at least a bit better than his original Florida schedule which only had him speaking in the Everglades to the all-important undecided-alligator vote.
Those Somali pirates who hijacked the Ukrainian ship filled with arms for Kenya now find themselves cornered on all sides by the US Navy. You hear that? The 21st century technologically advanced futuristic US Navy against Somali pirates in loincloths with swords. The pirates are obviously huge underdogs. Betting site 777.com says take the pirates and the points.
NASA announced yesterday that the space shuttle mission to fix the Hubble space telescope will be moved to 2009 after the election. Makes sense. The last thing Bush wants is anybody else out there seeing how bad things are here on Earth.
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