Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Just Discovered - the text of a "Real Sarah Palin" ad
"Hello, I'm Sarah Palin and I'd like to just talk to you, the American people as me, Sarah Palin. So you get to know the real me, so you can see the real me, preacher. So you can see the real me, doctor. And so you can see the real me, mother. Those lines are from a rock and roll song that Todd and I don't really listen to cause rock and roll is bad and causes homosexuality but we sometimes play it real loud when we don't want the kids to hear us fooling around in our evangelical Jesus loving way. Sound really carries in Alaska and that's another reason I am a foreign policy expert cause that means not only can I see Russia from here but I can hear Russia also. ‘Course my preacher says that could be the radio transmissions coming in through the fillings in my teeth which the liberals pushed through Congress back in the sex and drug sixties so they could brainwash us while we sleep. Which is why I sleep with my mouth open so the transmissions just go out into the room and not into my head and anyway, Todd, my first dude, well he just loves that my mouth is open like that all night. Anyway, I hope you're getting an idea of what me, I, myself, the real Sarah Palin is or are like. I'm just like you, and you, and you. You know I can't really see you but what I'm doing there is using what we mothers call "the imagination dealie". That's where we make things up to make life more fun and just better for our kids, of which I have like 5. We make up things like dinosaurs and evolution and dna and the law of gravity, like no ones' ever broken that, I mean, planes go up, rockets go up, and they only come down when we say come down, or make them come down. I lost a balloon years ago with track or trig or trailer park, one of my kids, and it hasn't come down yet so there goes that "law" of gravity stuff. That balloon went up and never came down so if the elite liberal scientists are going to lie about that they'll lie about everything. I'm Sarah Palin and this is the real me."