And Alaska isn’t just a microcosm of America. It turns out that Alaska is a microcosm of any place on the planet.
According to Palin and the McCain campaign, Alaska’s proximity (that’s “closeness” for all the other Joe 6-Packs out there like Sarah) to Russia makes her a foreign policy expert. Palin has stated that Russia is separated from Alaska by just a narrow maritime strip. Greece and Turkey are also separated by a narrow maritime strip.
Therefore, Alaska is just like Greece and Turkey.
Alaska has Native Americans, commonly called Indians. India also has Indians. Therefore Alaska is just like India.
And let’s not forget the West Indies; places like Jamaica. It follows that Alaska is just like Jamaica and the West Indies.
Using Sarah Palin logic, can you see how her foreign policy expertise and experience simply grows at an exponential rate?
The question must be why was she not put to better use as Secretary of State where her formidable foreign policy
genius could have been put to better use?
But back to her microcosm.
Alaska has mountains. Lots of countries have mountains, such as Nepal, Tibet, Peru, Chile, and Romania.
This makes Alaska a microcosm of all those countries and just like them. As Sarah Palin famously put on a bumper sticker as Governor of Alaska, Alaska is just like Romania, only without the vampires. Our tourism rates shot up after people saw they wouldn’t be bitten by the undead if they came here.
Alaska has ice. Lots of countries have ice, like that cute Iceland, and Norway, and even places like Brazil which have electricity and can make ice in those little hotel room refrigerators. So Alaska is just like a microcosm of Iceland and Norway
and Brazil and places with electricity and hotels just about anywhere.
Alaska also has seals and polar bears and so many places with zoos and aquariums have seals and polar bears so Alaska is just like them. I mean, the Berlin Zoo has that cute little polar bear Knut so in a very real way Alaska is just like Berlin
which is in Germany. But not the bad Berlin or Germany with those bad people, the Nazis. Alaska isn’t like Germany with Nazis. We’re more like the Germany with regular white people who aren’t Nazis. And our seals and polar bears aren’t Nazis either. And while I was Governor I had a tanning bed put in the Governor’s mansion so I could add a little color to the usual Arctic white skin tone we tend to get up in the far North. And by tanning myself I felt a kinship with all the tannish people of the world so in that way Alaska, or me representing Alaska, was myself a microcosm of all the tannish, darker, non-White people in the world. So Alaska is then a microcosm of Africa and Asia and Latin America and South America and most of New York City. That tanning bed provided me with so much foreign policy knowledge and experience.
So as you can plainly see, Alaska is just like any other place on Earth.
With a really high rate of sex crimes.