When interviewed by Katie Couric yesterday, Republican Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin could not name one newspaper or magazine that she reads that helps shape her world view. In a snap-poll taken right after the footage aired, 89% of voters now think the Bridge to Nowhere is simply the space between her ears.
Palin may have won the all-important Adults Who Retreat into Childishness when Confronted with Hard Questions vote when her answer to a question about her worldview was answered with – “I see Russia but not France, I’ve seen Putin’s underpants.”
Which was still better than her first answer. When asked what her worldview was she originally said, “Round.” And then after a pause she added, “But we should teach Flat Earth-ism because science can never be too sure.”
Good to know the American people care about the issues. In an online poll, 9 million people voted on this question – “Is Sarah Palin’s lipliner a tattoo?” Imminent financial meltdown, possible depression, and let’s not forget two wars and global terror. But most importantly, “Is Sarah Palin’s lipliner a tattoo?” And here I thought Lipliner and Tattoo were two of her kids.
To celebrate the opening of Bill Maher’s Religulous, a film about the intellectual inconsistencies of blind religious faith, 147 pilgrims were killed in a stampede at a Hindu shrine in India.
Indian officials said the stampede was worsened by devotees of the goddess Durga who brought cracked coconuts as offerings which slickened the temple floor with coconut milk making escape impossible.
And since this is the 21st century, this line from the New York Times – “It was the second deadly religious tragedy in the past few months in India, where pilgrim stampedes are not uncommon.” So to be clear – India 2008, a nation in contrast – nuclear weapons, outsourced American high-tech jobs, and pilgrim stampedes!!!
We might consider importing the idea of pilgrim stampedes. They might make those boring grade school Thanksgiving pageants easier to sit through. Or run from.
The dolphins at a Japanese aquarium are going on a diet after visitors noticed they weren’t jumping as high out of the water at their shows. Officials blamed the problem on the dolphins’ high fat diet of mackerel. The dolphins blame their weight gain on the fact that they are enslaved by men who spend night after night drunk in strip clubs and grown women who dress like middle-school versions of Sailor Moon and their unhappiness at their situation translates to extra pounds. That and shitloads of mackerel.