Thursday, September 11, 2008

Animal Crackers in My Soup - Notes from the Cam-Pain Trail

For the third day the McSame campaign is talking about being called a pig, being called a fish (WTF?!) and moose hunting. Pigs, fish and moose. They'll talk about all forms of life except the bipedal mammals who are losing their jobs and their homes.

As Governor, Sarah Palin earmarked 3.2 million for a study of seal DNA. And I thought Todd, the First Dude of Wasilla, was the father of all their children.

Yes, Sarah, the Queen of Pork Products, especially the tasty earmark, received 3.2 million of our taxpayer dollars to study seal DNA. Can somebody please tell supermodel Heidi Klum that Sarah is looking to become her husband's baby-Mama.

I don't like the idea of a Vice President whose had so many in the oven that Vladimir Putin will call her Easy-Bake.

Along with all the other lies, Palin-drone has consistently uttered that she "engineered the deal that jump-started a long-delayed gas-pipeline project." Yes, the pipleine project is now in the "almost-drawing-up-pictures" phase, having passed the all-important, "Yeah, we should do that" phase, the "Wow, can we really do that?" phase and the "Will people really work outside in Alaska to do this?" phase.

So the Interior Department was involved with oil and gas company executives and besides drug use and major payoffs, sex was traded inn order to make and seal the deals. Now we know why this Administration is always ready to "Drill, drill, drill."

Also nice to know that the Interior Department is taking their name literally.

Also nice to know that "offshore drilling" now means having wild Interior Department sex more than 12 miles off the coast.

Great headline in the New York Times today - Effort to help Chad ends. So it's official - Chad is so fucked that it simply cannot be helped. Game over, man. Next up on the government's official Cannot Be Helped List - the rest of Africa, the parts of Asia that aren't China, and Han Solo, but only while he's trapped in carbonite.

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