Thursday, September 25, 2008

Everything Matters - 9/25/08 - Morning Edition

Last night Bush spoke about the economic crisis, or as it’s known at his house – Other People’s Money.

In his speech, Bush let us in on how he really felt. And I quote, “It is difficult to pass a bill that commits so much of the taxpayers’ hard-earned money… But given the situation we are facing, not passing a bill now would cost these Americans much more later.” These Americans. He’s not including himself. Or anyone like himself. Republicans. Rich, white Republicans. Be very clear - these Americans are taxpayers who earn their hard-earned money through hard work. These Americans are the vast majority of the American people.
To paraphrase Walt Kelly’s Pogo: I have met these Americans and they are us.

So McCain rides into Washington on a white horse and saves the American economy. Not likely. First off, his white horse is busy lobbying for Freddie Mac or Georgia. Don’t forget, this is the man who has said he knows very little about how economics works and last Monday when the stock market fell 511 points he said the fundamentals of the economy are strong. He wants to save the economy – here’s a start –
How ‘bout he donates half his wife’s hundred million dollar fortune and 8 of his twelve houses to be used by foreclosed families. And the 5 grand he pays a Hollywood make-up artist to cover up whatever that is going on on his face. And the 500 dollar loafers he wears. And gets rid of every lobbyist on his campaign staff. Yeah, do all that for a start and then we can talk.

Look, it’s so clear that McCain suspended his campaign, whatever that means, so he wouldn’t have to debate this Friday and he wouldn’t have to debate on the economy, which is the real issue.
Never forget he voted for tax cuts for the wealthy in time of war and voted with George Bush over 90% of the time. McCain is still a P.O.W. – Prisoner of W (Bush 43)

And it’s even clearer that McCain suspended his campaign, whatever that means, so he could cancel the Palin debate as well. New Horror film based on Palin’s candidacy and reluctance to speak to the press – The Silence of the Moose.

Palin did tell Katie Couric that she would “get some examples of McCain’s economic leadership and bring them to her.” Well, the bad news is she won’t find any examples and the good news is at least it proves that one member of the Republican ticket knows how to use Google.

So Bush wants the American people to buy 700 billion dollars worth of investments that are so bad that no one can put a value on them. I’d offer to sell you a bridge but the American infrastructure is so bad that the bridge probably fell a long time ago.

How ‘bout we stop building the wall across the US-Mexican border and put it where it belongs – on Wall Street. We wall up Wall Street. With all the brokers and investment bankers inside. And if any of them have any ideas how to fix this mess they profited from and helped create, we send in Snake Plissken to bring them out. Oh, and if that doesn’t work because Snake Plissken doesn’t exist, enjoy the view, boys.

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