Everything Matters - 9/16/08

A McCain advisor said today that McCain deserves credit for helping invent the BlackBerry. When asked to clarify this, considering McCain is first learning how to sign on to the internet, the advisor said, “Oh, not the pda BlackBerry. The actual blackberry. McCain is old. He was there in the Garden of Eden when God made the fruits of the Earth and McCain remembers mentioning about something darker than a blueberry. God listens to John McCain is the lesson we should take from this.

There’s a big relief and rescue operation going on in Texas for the victims of Hurricane Gustav. Texans rally around the slogan “Remember the Alamo”. Not the best slogan for a rescue operation. All the people at the Alamo died.

Except Davy Crockett. Historians now believe that Crockett survived the Alamo and tried to escape in women’s clothing, only to be discovered and executed. Davy Crockett in a dress. That would make him (to the tune of the theme song) “Davy, Davy Crockett, King and Queen of the Wild Frontier.”

A brief history lesson: So the stock market crashes in 1929 and Herbert Hoover’s a Republican President and there had been Republicans in office for 8 years prior to him (Harding and Coolidge) and the country was smart enough to blame Republican policies and elect a Democrat in 1932. Perhaps you’ve heard of him – Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Gave us Social Security and Unemployment Insurance and lead us in the great crusade to defeat fascism. Hmmm. So here we are, 2008. Stock Market falling apart. Republican President, has been for 8 years. His economic policies brought us here, along with the deregulatory policies of his party since Reagan in 1980. And they want to destroy social security and put more people on unemployment. AND YOU’RE STILL UNDECIDED AS TO WHO TO VOTE FOR!!!

The people in Texas who were in the path of Hurricane Gustav were just told that it might be weeks before they get electricity and emergency food and water. And this is the government’s response in the President’s home state to people who tend to vote Republican!!! As my grandmother would’ve said, “WTF?!”

Good news from Germany. Two months after being beheaded, the newly repaired wax Hitler is back on display at Madame Tussaud’s in Berlin. Of course to make room for Der Wax Fuehrer all the wax Jews, Gypsies and homosexuals had to be moved.

And we’re not saying what Madame Tussaud’s did with the wax Jews, Gypsies and Homosexuals but where they once all were a single candle now stands.

The wax Hitler is seated at a desk in his bunker. He even has a bit of a smile; perhaps because the wax Eva Braun is also in the bunker, under the desk.